Gravity (2013)

Promising movie that has a lot of potential! That's what I thought starting to watch this one. I mean, space is pretty awesome, George Clooney is a boss and the movie poster is pretty cool.

But then...

Turns out it would have been more enjoyable to just look at some space-pictures... because that's really the only nice thing to say about this movie; it offers some good-looking scenery.

And that's all there is to it. In fact, everything else about the movie destroys how nice that scenery looked.

Crap...

First of all, the movie has a really weird vibe going on. Space is all pretty much just fun and games it seems, and jetting around in open space is as chill as a theme park ride. Space debris smashing into your space craft? Oh well, let's just head out to the space station while joking around and making dinner-like conversation... When somebody is on his way to certain death, it goes with the light-heartedness of saying someone goodbye for maybe one month. 

George Clooney is great with that kind of attitude in other movies, but it's just plain weird here. Sandra Bullock is like a cleaner who just happened to end up in space. She's so helpless and dependent, how the fuck would someone with that attitude ever end up as an astronaut?

The story is just vanilla, unimaginative and boring, considering the environment and possibilities where they could have taken the story. Predictable and uninspiring, it makes me feel like it's just mocking such an unbelievable and fantastic environment of outer space. 

And the most annoying, frustrating thing about it is; HALF of the movie, you're just watching Sandra Bullock gasp for air and being miserable. I have more sympathy for the fucking space craft that gets destroyed than I have for her.

NEXT!

I don't even want to waste more time thinking about this. 4/10, and that's being generous for this forgettable piece of non-movie. Why not a 1? +2 for some nice pictures in there, +1 for George Clooney still being a boss after all, and +1 for making me appreciate a good movie again. Without terrible movies, there's not such thing as great movies!

Spend your time wisely, please watch Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, the movie Moon (2009). If you'r into that, watch Star Trek or Star Was, for all I care something like Mars Attacks! or The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Even a nice flick like Armageddon or Independence Day, but stay far away from this...

The Side Dish

Yeah, to make it even worse, I didn't even bring out a nice beer to enjoy...

So here's a nicely edited inspirational video to make up for it!